Devil on my Shoulder - Lyrics
Think i’ve had enough
I must find my way
i’ve fallen off the edge to find that i’ve gone blind
you’re leading me astray
you haunt me like a ghost
and that scares me the most
There you are the devil on my shoulder
smiling as the flames are growing colder
how can I believe in what I have?
for a little confidence I’ll grab
but when my hand goes out don’t take it
for I’m trying to make it
on my own
I feel it in my bones
any minute now
this train of thought will leave the station
will come out to play
you’ve turned out to be, the only face I see
running through the empty hallways i can tell that i am not alone
you spin a web in every room and try to break the backbone that i’ve grown
will I make my own path or wander where i’m thrown
I reckon I’ve developed a bit as a writer since the very first few tunes I yelled out, and I guess ‘Devil on my Shoulder’ is one I’m proud of - also one that’s super personal. Putting so much of yourself into something and then releasing it to the world is petrifying! But the response to the song has been overwhelmingly lovely, so when some asked about the meaning of the lyrics, I decided I’d explain them as best I could
The whole song centres around the idea of being your own worst enemy! A little while back I wasn’t feeling myself at all; felt really down for a few weeks on end, and couldn’t twig why. I flicked a switch &shut myself off from most people, which numbed it for a bit, but most importantly allowed me to really figure out what was up with me! After buckets of thought, I realized it was simply me holding myself back - I was my own obstacle in being happy again.
The first two verses of the song just sum up where my ginger head was at during that confused stage - though I didn’t know what was wrong, I was totally fed up with feeling that way. Once I had everything figured out, and the song idea cemented in my head, I went back &re-wrote some lyrics addressing, well.. myself! “you haunt me like a ghost” and “you’ve turned out to be, the only face I see”.
The chorus sort of sums up everything in a bitesize chunk really - I’ve always found it an interesting image; an angel on one shoulder, a devil on the other, influencing your decisions. At the time though, I felt nothing but negativity pulse through me, so I guess I focused solely on the devil. Lines like “smiling as the flames are growing colder” seemed to just sort of emphasize how menacing the presence was. The last few lines - about grabbing for confidence - were simply a cry for help.
I guess the most intense lyrics are to be found in the bridge! At this point I just zoomed right in on how I felt at the very height of it all - I guess I felt as if I was being chased, watched from every angle. I noticed my confidence being chipped away - “.. try to break the backbone that I’ve grown”. I suppose the final bridge line really drags home the desperation that hit me like a brick - “will I make my own path, or wander where I’m thrown?”.
- that’s about it really! All seems a bit grim, but unusually enough I was happy when writing the song - at that stage I had identified the problem; it was me holding myself back. Feel a little vulnerable splashing all of this out there, but so many seemed curious, so it seemed like the thing to do
We all get so much chucked at us as we go about our silly little lives - everyone deals with emotions in different ways; I guess I channel mine into songs! Music is FREE THERAPY